


How The War Was Won

by fiveclawedfics



Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Capitalism, Crack, Furmanisms, Gen, Not the dumbest thing I've written but definitely up there, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, The Ruthless Capitalist Machinery of Jeff Bezos
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 18:50:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17966102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveclawedfics/pseuds/fiveclawedfics
Summary: With the death of Optimus Prime, only one entity remains that can defeat Megatron: Amazon Prime.





	How The War Was Won

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a prompt on Reddit.

Megatron cackled maniacally as the broken shell of his archnemesis crumpled to the ground. “It’s over, Prime—finished!” he gloated. “With your death, none can stand against me! Your beloved Alpha Trion said it himself—only a Prime could ever defeat the MIGHT OF MEGATRON!”

The remaining Autobots cowered behind the buildings of the human city. Well, they  _tried_  to cower—the Washington humans inexplicably preferred short buildings, leaving a distinct shortage of cover. “What now?” Bumblebee moaned. “Optimus has fallen! How can we ever defeat the Decepticons? What chance do we have?”

“We have no choice but to fall back,” Prowl replies, his face set in a grim frown. “We’ll regroup at the Ark and decide on our future strategy.” He could already see what that would be: endless centuries of grueling guerilla warfare.

“And abandon the humans?” Cliffjumper gestured at the grassy space known as the National Mall. The tiny, fragile natives ran hither and yon, screaming hysterically as Megatron gleefully stomped them to mush, pretty much for shits and giggles. Typical Megatron, really. “Why are you always such a prick? Optimus fought and died on their behalf—can we do less?” With a battlecry he charged Megatron, who promptly blew him to bits with his fusion cannon. Typical Cliffjumper, really.

A sudden rattle of metal drew everyone's attention. Optimus’s body stirred, then slowly, painfully raised his hands to his chest.

“Still alive, Prime?” Megatron sneered. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you a short, sharp lesson—IN DEATH!!”

“Have no fear, Megatron,” Optimus rumbled. He wrenched at his chest plating. “My time is done. But still—“ He opened his chest, revealing the glowing artifact within: the Matrix of Leadership. “I cannot,  _will not_  leave matters unfinished. You will yet fall, Megatron.  _You will yet fall!_ ”

A beam of light shot out of the Matrix. All present fell back in wonder, even Megatron, knowing in their heart of hearts that they were seeing something holy. For a moment, the Autobots dare hope.

But the beam did not summon another Prime, or blast Megatron to pieces. Instead it curved and burrowed into the ground. Moment after moment, the thirsty earth drank up every gleam of light, until the beam vanished, leaving only the graying body of Optimus Prime behind.

An ugly laugh shattered the shocked silence. “Is that all, Prime? One last attack that is too weak to even connect? Pathetic.” He slammed his foot into the Prime’s side. No response came from the shattered body. “It’s over.” Megatron returned to the task at hand: stomping the squishy natives into red goop.

But a single whisper yet emerged from that metal carcass, so soft that only its speaker could hear it. “You’re wrong, Megatron. It never ends.” Optimus’s optics flickered one last time, then blinked out.

The Prime had not missed his mark. He had been aiming for the ground—or rather, the great optic cables buried within. The power of the Matrix thundered across the wire, separating and spreading to warehouses stationed all across the planet, each filled with rack after rack of blinking servers. Each lit up as the wisdom of past Primes poured into their storage: the craft of Solus, the creativity of Alchemist, the morality of Micronus, the kindness of Optimus—all combining and transforming the ruthless capitalist machinery of Jeff Bezos.

One Prime still lived to challenge Megatron: the terrible Amazon Prime.


End file.
